The 12 best Chandler Bing quotes from Friends

In the common trope of friends living in the Big City, Friends continues to stand the test of time. As with any series from decades ago, some aspects of the show haven’t aged well but it continues to be relevant because of its humor. 

The most iconic of the show’s characters is Chandler Bing, played by the late and beloved Matthew Perry. Definitive for his sarcasm and wry wit, Chandler’s trademark humor contributed to Friends remaining a classic. In a decade of television there are far too many hilarious Chandler quotes to count, but here are the 12 best.

12. “Oh no, two women love me!”

Ross can be known to be a bit of a complainer, so it made for a great moment when Chandler called him out on it. Ross was venting about how he was having a hard time choosing between two women who were interested in him, and Chandler delivered an absolutely hilarious response.

He says: “Oh, I know. This must be so hard. ‘Oh, no! Two women love me. They’re both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet’s too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!”

11. “I’m not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

Anyone who has watched Friends knows that Chandler’s not one for huge displays of emotion but instead usually just offers up a hilariously sarcastic remark. What makes this quote such a standout is that it perfectly sums up Chandler’s character and Matthew Perry was able to deliver it in a way that generates immediate laughter.

Who knew Chandler’s self-awareness would make for one of the greatest things he ever said?

10. “He came up and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic!”

Some of Chandler’s lines are hilarious purely from inflection, and the season 4 finale of Friends is one of those times. In the famous excursion to London for Ross’ (David Schwimmer) wedding to Emily (Helen Baxendale), Monica (Courteney Cox) continues to be humiliated by everyone around her.

When one guest mistakes Monica for Ross’ mother, she goes on a downward spiral that only Chandler can help her with. Assuring her that the guest was crazy and she couldn’t pass for Ross’ mother, he offers an anecdote where the same man presumably mistook him for Leonardo DiCaprio.

Not only was this the start of one of the fan-favorite relationships of the series as Monica and Chandler bond through the event, but Perry’s comedic tone made the quote memorable.

9. “Why is your family Ross?”

After Monica and Chandler finally got together after four seasons, fans were intent on seeing where the relationship would go. Eventually, they get engaged, but it isn’t without its setbacks. Wedding planning is stressful for any couple, especially when your brother is Ross.

He decides to give a special gift at their wedding, which the couple is horrified to discover is a song on the bagpipes. Hearing his composition from their apartment, Monica and Chandler watch in abject horror. Monica blames Chandler for being Scottish, but he returns with a trademark witty retort and asks her why her family is Ross. An apt response, there is no comeback for that.

8. “There are seven?”

The dating journey of Chandler Bing has always been cause for some laughs, but no more so than when he asks Monica and Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) for help in the bedroom. Concerned about his ability to please his girlfriend, Monica helps by sketching him a diagram and indicating the erogenous zones.

Chandler’s issues become apparent almost immediately when Monica counts higher than three. Chandler learning that there are seven erogenous zones is another unfortunate if hilarious joke at his expense.

7. “Actually it’s Miss Chanandler Bong.”

One of the great episodes in Friends history is the trivia contest betting the apartments. Joey (Matt LeBlanc) and Chandler insist that they know Monica and Rachel better than the girls know the boys, inspiring a high-stakes game of trivia. It all comes to a head when Ross asks what the name on the boys’ TV Guide is.

Answering too quickly, Rachel answers that the name on the guide is Chandler Bing to Monica’s dismay. Printed incorrectly, Chandler says with a smirk that the magazine comes to “Miss Chanandler Bong.” This is the devastating question that leads to the girls losing their apartment.

6. “No, you didn’t get me. It’s an electric drill. You get me, you kill me!”

The entertainment center was a source of friction for Joey and Chandler, especially in the early days. After Joey slices Chandler’s door in half with a saw, he goes to work with an electric drill. Dozing in his room, Chandler wakes up to find Joey powering through his wall with the drill just in time. Joey asks with concern if he got his roommate, but of course, Chandler isn’t going to take this lightly.

Pointing out that drilling a hole in Chandler would likely result in his death, this is another instance of the differences between the two roommates.

5. “Was that place the sun?”

Typically when Ross makes a mistake, he tends to blame everyone around him. After going to a tanning salon, he does not follow the directions accurately and finds himself with a face full of tanning solution.

After he goes to confront Monica about the situation, he points out that she was the one who suggested the tanning place, which prompts an immediate response from Chandler. The only place Ross could get that tan was clearly the sun.

4. “Joey was born and then 28 years later, I was robbed!”

The entertainment center debacle finally reached its end, but not with the results anyone was hoping for. While trying to sell the unit to a prospective buyer, they goad Joey into crawling into it. Locking him in, they proceed to rob the entire place.

Chandler is naturally a little more than upset and explains the situation to the rest of the group in the most hilarious way possible. Sometimes Joey’s antics are even a little bit too much for his best friends.

3. “What it must be like to not be crippled by fear and self-loathing.”

One of Chandler’s defining traits is sadly his insecurity. He often compares himself to his more confident roommate, who has a habit of seducing women. Chandler’s wry observation about himself comes about when Joey and Rachel embark on their odd coupling.

Joey has no fear about spending the night with his new paramour, something that Chandler is not explicitly familiar with. At least he has a sense of humor about his propensity to be self-loathing.

2. “Maybe he was nervous.”

Ross’ excruciatingly nerdy job is something that never gets old on Friends. Especially in the early days of the series, his job at the museum as a paleontologist offered many opportunities for wordplay. In one scene, Ross is on the phone talking about a display and chiding a co-worker that: “Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.”

Without missing a beat from his box of Chinese food, Chandler quips that maybe he was nervous. An obvious opening for one of Chander’s trademark comments, this stands out as one of the most witty.

1. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut UUUUP!”

Buying furniture in New York is never an easy task, especially when you live in a walk-up. In perhaps one of the most memorable gags in Friends history, Ross has Rachel and Chandler help him move a couch up the stairs. Ross is classically a control freak which results in him sketching out how to lift the couch and micromanaging his friends.

And from this scene came a thousand memes. As Ross instructs his friends, he continually shouts “PIVOT!” louder and louder, making an exasperated Chandler react in the only way he knows how.

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